i can't eat real food, apparently

so yesterday i did a lot of walking. and i ate apple cider, soy milk, rye crackers with tofutti better than cream cheese spread, pasta, broccoli, alfredo/cheese/tomato sauce, raw radishes with dressing, spoonful of nutella. i got sick this morning. i think it might actually be bc of acidic food, like tomotoes in the sauce. i am going to have to figure this out. it's not healthy.

still not eating much

my allergies have been miserable. sat/sun i didn't do much but stretch. monday and tuesday i stretched and walked a bit. and today i stretched and rode my exerbike for an hour and did arm toning.

all of these days i haven't eaten much bc of no appetite and sleeping a lot from medicine but it's pretty much been some protein, a piece of fruit and some vegetables. yesterday i had kefir, orange juice, pasta, broccolli and alfredo sauce and raw carrots. today so far i have had orange juice and a piece of toast with peanut butter. i am drinking a 22oz. beer, prolly am about to finish the first half. 2 beers messes me up now bc i hardly eat, so after this, raw carrots are good and i might make a spinach omlette and salsa on top. i wish i had avocado.

less eating again

since getting sick in the morning was quite unpleasant, i've decided that i'm back to more of my "normal" non-eating days, until i see a doc on monday (i am such a procrastinator, well, i have had *important* stuff to do).

thursday i had raspberry kefir (probiotic yogurt drink), rice crips and skim milk, flax chips, spinach hummus and a rye crisp (they're brit-ish), aqui berry juice. i don't think i exercised, but i always stretch. i prolly danced around my house if you want to count that.

friday i had a banana and then dinner at the farm with all home made and some home grown(HG) food. OR wild rice(HG), black beans, carrot/turnip salad, apple crisp and goat's milk(HG). later on i had some flax(HG)/basil bread and a chocolate chip/PB cookie.

i danced a lot to a sweat, i've started to try to learn the choreogrpahy to some music videos, but more so am just dancing to music i really like and trying to learn some moves at the same time. i also walked for the bus. and then walked through the woods a bunch and did led, dramatic qi gong which is hard to explain and actually damn hard. i was trying to keep in a solid center squat position, my legs would shake and i would try to hold it as long as i could, but i never made it through a whole portion but still would do the hand motions if i couldn't squat anymore, but it was the first time i ever did it, so *pats* self on back. i also did 1-2hours of a dry sauna. i sweat so much, it felt so good. i feel so good and the skin on my face is so clear i swear i look younger. it was amazing really, i think i will do it again, it's a great whole body detox.

woo!

eating more...but

i went to the co-op with STone on Tuesday and got a lot of organic, healthy food to try to increase my appetite by eating more and just plain eat more, which is a really odd thing for me to say especially bc i am trying to lose weight, but the very little that i am eating is not enough. but i vomited both Wed. and this morning, it was awful. I am slacking on going to the clinic, but i really need to get refills on supplements and talk to a naturopath/nutrionist about this.

Tuesday I had lemon/cayenne, a small piece of chocolate, huge apple, rice crisp cereal with skim milk, sprouted corn tortillas with refried beans and cheese, flax chips, rye/seed crackers with smoked gouda, breaded/baked spinach, coconut bliss dessert and aqui berry juice. that seems like a totally normal amount of food to have. I didn't really exercise, I was out of the house and about a bit, though.

Yesterday I had a banana, cereal and skim milk, cracker & gouda, flax chips and spinach hummus, corn tortillas with steamed spinach and cheese, raw carrots with goddess dressing, toast with strawberry jam, aqui berry juice, coconut bliss, i had about 6oz of hemp milk with iced coffee, too. I walked prolly around 2miles.

trying to keep on the positive tip. today i haven't eaten anything yet. when i do eat, it won't be that much bc i have no desire to wake up sick every day.

sunday, monday, they are days

i drink water a lot. i drink coffee almost everyday. i drink tea a lot. those are some standards. i haven't had my vitamins or thyroid supplement for a week or more bc i am going to clinic tomorrow. also, i decided to do the lemon/cayenne water every other morning bc i am not eating a lot and i take lot of vitamin C bc i work with kids (when i work that is...) and i don't want the scoots. you're welcome.

sunday i had a banana, peanut butter and jelly and creamed spinach. my god, i need to eat more. i rode the exerbike for an hour. i had 2 beers at night.

monday i had a banana, beans and salsa and spinach "nuggets" (breaded and baked). i rode the exerbike for an hour again and also walked to the store and back.

now it's tuesday, another day. i've had um, nothing yet. and i haven't exercised yet either.

more excitement

this week was about the same in terms of eating, didn't have appetite, ate some healthy stuff. i also had pms and craved chocolate and chips which i gave into 2 nights. but i didn't get my period, just all the symptoms and i am on the pill. this is the 2nd time this has happened, i have to remember to tell DR that too. I've been stretching, walking, feldenkrausing, exerbiking. YaY good health!

no appetite continues

i had my lemon cayenne water again and water and coffee. besides that i had veggie juice and 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and peppers and a piece of toast with blueberry preserves. all spread out through the day. i did morning stretches and lots of deep work with my feldenkraus block and an hour on the exerbike. all in all a good day. i need to get to the clinic to get my vitamins and supplements. pronto.

more balanced than i have been

as usual, i drank a lot of water and coffee with delicious, fake, bad for me creamer. i haven't done the lemon cayenne water cleanse in the morning for a few days, but i just 4 organic lemons which should last at least a week. i went to safeway today and want to go to trader joe's tomorrow (monday) and then go on back and forth to stock up on food. i plan to go to target and use my giftcard on a handcart that goes in front of me to push, not behind to pull if find one. i stretched and walked today. i ate cheese and veggie enchiladas, chips, creamed spinach, orange juice, and dammit that is it, i felt like it was a lot more. more important than target i remembered, i plan to go to the clinic and get refills on my vitamins and supplements and maybe be seen if they aren't full. good health to all!

another ah-ha moment

while talking to my bro today, we talked about my struggles with weight and how my mom can be really hard on me about it. one example: she sends me things in the mail about how to lose weight or something. while talking to aus i realized that these are the times when i binge eat. i am in a sense trying to retaliate against her, but really i am hurting myself. another awesome thing to recognize.

i figured it out!

i don't know why it took me months to figure this out, but...loss of or decreased appetite is a side effect of the balta. no wonder. at least now i know why i haven't had an appetite and i will talk to my health support team about what to do about it bc eating right, or at all, important to being healthy overall. and i am not losing weight bc i am not getting nutrients and my body is feeding off itself, or something, i don't know AND i am not losing weight bc sometimes with the herb i binge and eat like 1/2 a pizza in a sitting. uck. knowledge is key!

update.

i didn't eat at all yesterday. oh wait. i had ice cream. i guess that's better than absolutely nothing. or not. today i forced myself to eat. i drink a lot of water. morning i had orange juice, after i exerbiked an hour i had 1 bread, 2 eggs fried in smartbalance oil and when it was after 9pm and i had no appetite or dinner, i had veggie juice. dammit. nothing else, huh? i had coffee and hazlenut creamer, full of nutrients, protein and fiber that i need. i don't get it.

starting....now!

ok, so there were some setbacks this past week, but let's not focus on that. today i've already walked like 2miles at a pretty fast clip with just my big purse. i still will walk to school with my bag and i can't figure out my hand cart so i might not bring all my books or something. actually i just need a milkcrate for my hand cart. or a box but it rains so that would prolly get wet pretty quick. working on it. i lots of water, coffee, a banana, almonds so far, 100% veggie juice and 2 cheese/corn/tomato enchiladas. and then i walked and got ice cream. dammit.