more excitement

this week was about the same in terms of eating, didn't have appetite, ate some healthy stuff. i also had pms and craved chocolate and chips which i gave into 2 nights. but i didn't get my period, just all the symptoms and i am on the pill. this is the 2nd time this has happened, i have to remember to tell DR that too. I've been stretching, walking, feldenkrausing, exerbiking. YaY good health!

no appetite continues

i had my lemon cayenne water again and water and coffee. besides that i had veggie juice and 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and peppers and a piece of toast with blueberry preserves. all spread out through the day. i did morning stretches and lots of deep work with my feldenkraus block and an hour on the exerbike. all in all a good day. i need to get to the clinic to get my vitamins and supplements. pronto.

more balanced than i have been

as usual, i drank a lot of water and coffee with delicious, fake, bad for me creamer. i haven't done the lemon cayenne water cleanse in the morning for a few days, but i just 4 organic lemons which should last at least a week. i went to safeway today and want to go to trader joe's tomorrow (monday) and then go on back and forth to stock up on food. i plan to go to target and use my giftcard on a handcart that goes in front of me to push, not behind to pull if find one. i stretched and walked today. i ate cheese and veggie enchiladas, chips, creamed spinach, orange juice, and dammit that is it, i felt like it was a lot more. more important than target i remembered, i plan to go to the clinic and get refills on my vitamins and supplements and maybe be seen if they aren't full. good health to all!

another ah-ha moment

while talking to my bro today, we talked about my struggles with weight and how my mom can be really hard on me about it. one example: she sends me things in the mail about how to lose weight or something. while talking to aus i realized that these are the times when i binge eat. i am in a sense trying to retaliate against her, but really i am hurting myself. another awesome thing to recognize.

i figured it out!

i don't know why it took me months to figure this out, but...loss of or decreased appetite is a side effect of the balta. no wonder. at least now i know why i haven't had an appetite and i will talk to my health support team about what to do about it bc eating right, or at all, important to being healthy overall. and i am not losing weight bc i am not getting nutrients and my body is feeding off itself, or something, i don't know AND i am not losing weight bc sometimes with the herb i binge and eat like 1/2 a pizza in a sitting. uck. knowledge is key!

update.

i didn't eat at all yesterday. oh wait. i had ice cream. i guess that's better than absolutely nothing. or not. today i forced myself to eat. i drink a lot of water. morning i had orange juice, after i exerbiked an hour i had 1 bread, 2 eggs fried in smartbalance oil and when it was after 9pm and i had no appetite or dinner, i had veggie juice. dammit. nothing else, huh? i had coffee and hazlenut creamer, full of nutrients, protein and fiber that i need. i don't get it.

starting....now!

ok, so there were some setbacks this past week, but let's not focus on that. today i've already walked like 2miles at a pretty fast clip with just my big purse. i still will walk to school with my bag and i can't figure out my hand cart so i might not bring all my books or something. actually i just need a milkcrate for my hand cart. or a box but it rains so that would prolly get wet pretty quick. working on it. i lots of water, coffee, a banana, almonds so far, 100% veggie juice and 2 cheese/corn/tomato enchiladas. and then i walked and got ice cream. dammit.